Mar 15 2006
dreams and family
Had a relatively depressing conversation with coworker about families and how they seem to be crazy, and it jogged loose a dream I had last night about my mom. It was kinda odd, and I was at the old house, which was oddly empty, but damp, and had DDR pads. So maybe that part isn’t so weird (the DDR, I mean, relatively speaking). I visited, she misbehaved, I had a fight with her, and I spent the rest of the dream struggling to leave, I think - it gets hazy at that point. So, now, brooding over family bits, what with being tired and it being so late and all. Makes me super lonely - wish I was with my Bonnie, or just someone was around for a quick reality check-in bit.
Also, it reminded me of the eventual sadness I figure I’ll encounter - while I really care about my friends, I feel that in the end maybe most of em will get married or whatever and start families, and once they get involved in their own lives and futures, non-family members won’t be as important. They’ll scatter to the four corners, and it’ll get harder to see them, and then peoples’ lives slip away, one past another, until there’s only that little kernel of shared experience way back when… And that makes me sad, because I don’t think I will have family in the blood relative sense really around, and I certainly don’t want to raise a family in a vacuum - that is, without aunties and uncles and all those bits.
I miss people.
So come visit melissa! You know you want to see som 
